Touched By An Angel With Love
by LaueeeCarter
Summary: 'I cannot live in a world where I'm not with you,' I whispered, cupping my love's face into my hands and captured his lips with mine, knowing it was the beginning of the end. The day I met him was the day he saved me. I am engaged to a man I do not love, in love with one I cannot be with and in an unrequited love with a man I have no feelings for. Violence, language and adult theme


**Titanic belongs to its owners. I only own Jack and Murdoch ;) William is my favorite character, besides Jack. Who doesn't love Jack, really?**

**It is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction about this amazing movie. Parts where my OC is not there will be in third person.**

**English is NOT my first language, French is. Please, bear with me. ****Murdoch and Lightoller are obviously not married in the storyline. I do my best to be as accurate as possible because I love the story of the Titanic. Of course some events will be different, it's a fiction and it is _my_ take on what happened. ****I mean absolutely no disrespect to the historical characters. **

**The fanfiction is inspired by the song _All I have To Give_ sung by the Backstreet Boys and it is based on James Cameron's movie. I hope you'll enjoy and suggestions are always welcome. Don't forget to review. :)**

**Summary:** ''I cannot live in a world where I'm not with you,'' I whispered, cupping my love's face into my hands and captured his lips with mine, knowing it was the beginning of the end. The day I met him was the day he saved me. I am engaged to a man I do not love, in love with one I cannot be with and in an unrequited love with a man I have no romantic feelings for him.

**Touched By An Angel With Love**

_Chapter 1 : Sailing Day_

_April 10th, 1912_

I witnessed the same nightmare over and over again every night. It was about this ship named Titanic. She struck a mass of ice and sank to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. There were people drowning and dying from the biting cold of the water. They had no chance of survival. They were hopeless and helpless. It broke my heart, my soul. Silence followed as motionless, pale and cold bodies floated at the surface of the calm water. It was at this moment that I usually woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks. Those pictures haunted me like a disease that was eating me from inside. The only thing survivors and people of generations to come could do was hold the ship and the victims in their memories so they would never be forgotten. Those pictures were trying to send me a message but the signification behind them was out of my reach. I've come to not want to sleep anymore so much they were horrible.

Oh, excuse me for this impolite way of sharing my story with you. Where are my manners? I ought to introduce myself. I am Alison Callaan, daughter of Mrs. Katheryn Callaan, owner of a fashion company here in Southampton. She designed herself the clothes for women and men she sold. It went from undergarments to hats. She was very renowned amongst high society people. She wanted to expend her company. As for my father, we lost him to an incurable blood disease. My mother wanted to give me away to a wealthy man who would take care of me. I was 20 years old, way above the legal age women were allowed to be married. Every time that she found a suitor for me, I'd refuse his proposal for marriage.I wanted that love be the only reason why I will ever marry a man.

She even found me another suitor I had no feelings for him. His name was Jonathan Anderson. He was a wealthy friend of her who lived oversea. He was the heir of a renowned company in America. I loved Mrs. Callaan. I couldn't say I didn't because that would be a lie. I knew she wanted me to be happy. She was a loving and strict woman who truly cared about my well-being. She cared so much about it that sometimes she did not take into account what I _really_ wanted, only having in mind what she _believed_ was going to bring happiness to me. One thing for sure was that becoming the wife of Jonathan was _not_ going to do it.

I hated the man. He definitely was his father's son. He was spoiled, self absorbed and manipulative. In my eyes, his attitude was sickening. I wasn't allowed to be alone. He watched my every movement. His behavior was that of a possessive, jealous and abusive fiancé. I couldn't smile, speak or look at other men without him being mad at me. I was a very straightforward kind of person. I didn't hesitate to say what was on my mind. I was not convinced I deserved that kind of treatment. No one should allow this upon themselves. Jonathan hated it when I stood up for myself. My mother was convinced that he would make a perfect husband. How she was wrong. Did she see that he mistreated me or was she oblivious about it? I've tried to give a chance to him but he never proved himself to be worthy of my affection. I truly hoped that one day my mother or someone else would see what he was doing to me because I couldn't take it anymore. I felt as though there was no way out of this.

Thank god, Jonathan wasn't present in my bedroom with me right now. He was in another room inside of the house where my voice couldn't reach him. We bought our tickets for Titanic so that when we will arrive in New York I'd become Mrs Anderson. Just the thought of becoming his wife made my stomach turn. I decided to not think about it and concentrated on the fact that I was going to board the most luxurious and largest ship ever built by men. I was excited to board her. She was the new diamond of the White Star Line, the naval company that owned her. I did my best to not think about the nightmare I witnessed, telling myself that it would not come true, that it was just a dream.

I was sitting on a chair in front of a vanity table in my bedroom. My maid, who went by the name Elizabeth, was doing my long wavy black hair that reached my middle back into a tight elegant bun decorated with sparkling diamonds while I applied light make up on my pale face. I had green, almost gray, eyes. I was said to be a beautiful woman. I felt eyes, mostly men's, on me and I didn't blame them for that, although it was embarrassing when they'd stare at me too long for my liking. I was 5 feet 8 inches if we added the height of the small white heels that I wore. I was dressed into a long sleeved dark blue gown that touched the floor. It was my mother who designed it and I loved it very much. The collar was wrapped around my neck and finished in a ''v'' shape. It was made of topaz colored material. The floral pattern began below the collar, to the front and finished on my hips. The flowers were of topaz color and the peduncle were of dark green color. The blue colored skirts were pulled up behind my back into a nice waterfall effect.

''I have no desire to marry Jonathan. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with a man such as him. I want to marry a man that I love and who loves me in return...'' I complained to my maid, shaking my head from side to side, finishing my make up, my English accent clear in the vibrations of my voice as I spoke lowly, loud enough for only the two of us to hear, not wanting my fiancé to capture a part of what I just said.

I felt so alone. I needed to talk to someone about my situation and I knew my maid would listen to me. She wasn't just our family's servant. She was also my friend. I've known her since I was a child. She was always there for me like a maid and friend should and it was enough for me to know that someone cared about me.

''I know, milady, I know...'' she breathed quietly, shaking her head as well. "I've never appreciated him. Those injuries... I cannot imagine how someone can dare treat you that way. I'm sure one day you will find a man who will love you and allow you to leave this horrible fiancé of yours behind.'' She smiled gently at me, a sympathetic look in her brown eyes, dropping her hands from my hair for she was finished with my hairstyle.

''I really hope so, Elizabeth... I really hope so,'' I whispered to myself, glancing down at the table in front of me. I then lifted my head and looked over my shoulder, motioning a black hat laying on my bed. ''Can you please give it to me?'' I demanded politely. I always said please and thank you to a servant or a steward. I couldn't bring myself to not be polite with them. I knew it was improper according to high society morals about the stewards and servants being inferior to us. Despite their social situation, they were still people to my eyes.

''Yes, miss,'' Elizabeth nodded, took hold of the hat and came back at my side. I thanked her, took the accessory from her and placed it carefully onto my head, making sure to not ruin my hair.

I heard someone enter my room the instant I finished placing the hat upon my head. I looked away from the glass in front of me and saw my mother standing there in the middle of the room. Her eyes widened as she looked at me intently. According to her facial expression, she thought I was beautiful. How couldn't I be? I had an amazing maid to help me choose the best outfits and I supposed I had a natural beauty.

_''Alison...''_ she managed to breathe after a moment, never taking her eyes away from me. ''you look beautiful in this gown.''

''Oh, yes, milady. You look splendid,'' Elizabeth immediately agreed with my mother, smiling and nodding happily, proud of her mistress' work.

I had to admit that they were both right. The material hugged every curve I had. I simply offered them one of my best smiles with a soft affirmative nod of my head. I was said to own a beautiful bright and charming smile. However, when I didn't want to smile, I simply offered people one of my best fake one. They seemed to buy it and that pleased me.

''Ladies, we better hurry,'' Katheryn said, making her way outside of my bedroom and over to the two automobiles outside that would lead us over to the port of Southampton where the Titanic was waiting for passengers to come aboard.

I rose from my chair and followed my mother, our maid close behind us. Once we were outside, I saw that our luggage had already been placed into the automobiles. My fiancé was also there. I really didn't want to see him but I knew he had to come with us. I felt myself nauseous. _Oh, god._ How I'd love to meet a man who would be able to melt the ice around my heart.

''You look beautiful, my love,'' Jonathan said with a smile so fake it seemed surreal, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I simply turned my head towards him and gave him a mouth closed smile.

_You don't mean it. You think I look horrible. There's no need to put an act in front of everyone._

I had no idea if he truly loved me. He wouldn't mistreat me so badly if he did.

_You do not hurt those you love._

Jonathan was a man who belonged to the category of tall, blond hair, blue eyes and fit frame. He wore a black suit with a hat of the same color as his outfit. He was a very handsome man but I didn't feel any attraction towards him. It was probably because I knew he was not as charming as he appeared to be.

The chauffeurs then helped all five of us, my mother, my fiancé, Elizabeth, John, Jonathan's servant, and me, into two automobiles and drove over to the port of Southampton. After minutes that seemed to be hours to us, the chauffeurs arrived in the crowded and busy port where the Titanic was going to set sail. They had to honk their horns to pass. Our vehicles finally came to a stop and the man who was charged to drive our car got off his seat and walked in front of my door. He opened it, took hold of my hand and helped me climb out of the automobile. I thanked him politely for assisting me, then Katheryn, Jonathan and our two servants followed me.

I lifted my head and saw a magnificent Queen of the Ocean before me. My eyes widened in awe upon seeing her for the first time. She was painted in red on the bottom, black and white with a thin yellow line between those two sections and each smokestack painted in a dark brown color with the top of it black. There, the R.M.S Titanic, the grandest and most luxurious ship in the world stood before us in all her grace and splendor. She was breathtaking. I could hear people shouting orders as well as others saying their goodbyes to those who were boarding the ship. For a short second, I forgot I was going on this ship to become the wife of the man who was standing next to me. I then remembered why I was here and sadness mixed with frustration overwhelmed my heart. I could feel my eyes burn and itch. That's when I knew tears were threatening to stream down my cheeks.

_I cannot cry in front of them._

I swallowed my tears and took the arm that my fiancé offered Katheryn and I. We then walked over to a bridge that led us into the hull of the Titanic. As we approached an Officer awaiting passengers to register them and give them the keys to their stateroom, I began to feel so small compared to the ship. I was nonetheless happy to board her. How on earth was it possible for most crew members of the Titanic to be attractive? This one who was standing in front of us looked young. He was perhaps in his twenties at most. He had facial traits well balanced between femininity and masculinity, brown hair, hazel eyes, a well defined jaw and he carried himself with professionalism.

''Welcome aboard,'' The man greeted us with a gentle smile after writing down our names and handing us our keys.

''Thank you, kind sir,'' I thanked the Officer politely, offering him one of my best smiles which made blood rise to his cheeks. He averted his gaze from me, not wishing that I see his cheeks blush. Unfortunately for him, I did and smiled inwardly. I didn't say word about it because I knew it enraged Jonathan to see me smile at other men than him. I never granted my fiancé those sort of smiles. I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. He wasn't worthy of them in my opinion. I ignored his cold as ice glare and walked with my mother and our servants to find our staterooms.


End file.
